We are the Autistic Alliance for Advocacy, a rights-based, Autistic-led collective founded on a simple principle: Autism advocacy must be led by Autistic people, for Autistic people. Through lived experience and collective knowledge, we work to advance acceptance, equity, and dignity for Autistic people across India.
We are issuing this statement in response to Mr. AK Kundra's post on Facebook, "Autism and Marriage." We condemn the post for spreading false, outdated, and dangerous misinformation about Autistic adults, their autonomy, and their right to relationships.
The post relies heavily on fear-based narratives that infantilize Autistic adults. There are several harmful undertones of eugenics, misrepresentation of sexuality and gender and projecting residential/community homes as the "one-stop solution." This framing is harmful, stigmatizing, and deeply disrespectful to Autistic people and their families. It encourages parents to fear Autistic adulthood rather than support it.
Describing an Autistic adult's desire to marry as "surprising," "inappropriate," "dangerous," or a "child-like fantasy" reflects prejudice, not insight. Autistic adults may communicate and behave differently, but that does not mean we do not understand adulthood. Using obsolete single mental-age numbers leads to Autistic adults being denied autonomy, agency, and access to adult life experiences.
The ability to marry or consummate a marriage depends on emotional and physical readiness, not autism. Many Indian Autistic people are married, have fulfilling sex lives, intentionally choose parenthood knowing their children may be Autistic, and nurture them with care and competence. There are thousands of Autistic marriages and relationships that are healthy, stable, and fulfilling, yet these are ignored because they do not fit a fear-based narrative. All Autistic adults are capable of love, emotional connection, and physical intimacy.
Autistic people have a right to learn about sex education and a right to premarital guidance. The failures described in the post stem from gaps in systems and skills, not deficits in Autistic people.
Further, forced or financially incentivized marriages are unethical regardless of disability. However, denying Autistic adults the right to form relationships, marry, or have families is equally unethical. The problem is not autism. The problem is the absence of relationship education, sexuality education, supported decision-making, and accurate information—combined with stigma and fear.
We are particularly disturbed by comments that imply Autistic people should not have children because the likelihood of autism is high. This rhetoric echoes eugenic thinking and demonstrates a profound misunderstanding of autism. Autism is a natural variation of human neurology, much like biodiversity. As Michael Fitzgerald observed, human evolution has been shaped by Autistic minds.
Citing two extreme and traumatic cases and generalizing them to the entire Autistic population is irresponsible. Claiming that research in India is "next to zero" while making sweeping conclusions is self-contradictory and unscientific.
Labels such as "high-functioning" and "low-functioning" further obscure individual needs and capabilities. Autistic people are diverse, and collapsing that diversity into a single narrative prevents meaningful, individualized support. Marriage struggles exist across society; rising divorce rates among neurotypical couples make it clear that these are not "Autistic problems."
Autism is a natural part of human diversity. Autistic adults deserve autonomy, sex education, relationship support, informed consent, supported decision-making, and community inclusion—not fear, shame, segregation, or confinement. Framing residential homes as the answer to Autistic adulthood shifts responsibility away from society. Segregation is presented as safety and containment is disguised as care. The onus is on non-Autistic people to learn about Autistic desire, boundaries, or humanity.
Autistic people thrive when we are met with love, support, community, and dignity.
We urge parents, educators, and policymakers to seek guidance from Autistic-led organizations and to stop amplifying narratives that restrict our rights and diminish our humanity.
With love, with care, with dignity— for every Autistic life.